It's tough kid, but it's life

You like my krama?

Hello

Well, Connie and I have been in Cambodia for about a week and a half now, and we love it. Phnom Penh is a great city. Aside from constant offers of tuk tuk rides you're largely left alone, and there's plenty to see around town. Mostly though, it was all about the food. Whole calves roasting over an open fire outside, and beer girls supplying $2 jugs of draught beer, refilling your glass whether you want it or not. But beware, eating in Khmer establishments puts you at risk of being toasted. If a Cambodian raises his glass to you, it is an act of savage cultural insensitivity not to reciprocate. And because Cambodians generally drink as if they don't want to live, toasting often means downing your glass. At a nearby table, a Cambodian who was with a couple of friends and some Westerners (we later learned he had been their driver for the day) raised his glass to me, so I jovially raised mine and sunk my remaining beer. But a few minutes later, he raised again. I politely pointed out that our jug was empty, but rather than accept defeat, he came over with own jug and filled up both our glasses, which were promptly sunk. I won't bore you with the rest of the story, but the moral is not to drink with Cambodians.

From Phnom Penh, we slowly headed east, stopping off in Kampong Cham and Kratie before finally ending up in Sen Monorom, Mondulikiri province. Mondulikiri was lovely, although it looks a lot like the British countryside. We stayed in a place called Nature Lodge, which was a large open place with a few bungalows dotted around, and cows and horses wandering around. We went on a one day trek with one of the guides there, ending up at at a waterfall, where you can jump from the top and swim and generally lark about. As an added bonus, Connie got to go in the river and wash an elephant which turned her into a giggling little schoolgirl. On the way back we were accosted by some Pnong villagers who invited us to drink some rice wine with them. Failing to heed lessons from Phnom Penh, we joined them, although I think our guide may have found it a bit tiring having to translate for five people.

Yesterday we took a looooong bus journey to Siem Reap, which was dull but very manageable because after our scheduled change we somehow found ourselves on a VIP bus. So for the first time since coming out here I was afforded something I cherish above all: legroom. Siem Reap is a fun place, with bars that actually have atmosphere. Tomorrow we'll be off on the first of three days to the Angkor Temples, so we're excited to see what they're really like.

Adios.

The Most Important Meal of the Day

This is a blog post I wrote a while ago but was unable to post because of computers too weary to peer into my camera and grab a few pictures. I can only apologise for what must have been a distressing wait. But now allow me to present in all it's multi-megapixel glory - Tim writing about some stuff he ate.

Thailand offers the discerning traveller a number of ways to start the day. Traditionally, Thai cooking doesn't particularly differentiate between which foods are suitable for the morning or evening like we do. A typical Thai breakfast would be something like rice soup, a good example of which looks like this:

Delicious. But that's not what I want to talk about. Because alongside these tasty authentic new delights lie another culinary sensation: the Thai approximation of a Western cooked breakfast. Typically labelled an English or American breakfast, these offer a slightly more expensive but not-terrible value way to kick your stomach into gear. Unfortunately, lack of ingredients, experience and interest for these hallowed Western dishes leads to some interesting 'plates', as the guys on Masterchef would put it. Consider this the good, the bad and the downright strange of Thai breakfasts.

This tasty morsel is the cheese omelet served up by The Rock in Ko Phi Phi. To be fair that is a very literal combination of a Thai omelet and the only cheese they have on that island, so maybe I should have seen it coming. The fruit was an unexpected bonus.

The American breakfast served at Bamboo Bar in Ko Lanta takes top place in this not-too-official survey. All the essentials included (plus ham), with the bacon being just right, and all for a decent price. The second one of these wasn't as good, because our minivan came an hour early and I had to have it cold out of a takeaway box. Still good though.

This was served at Dicko's in Ko Samui. Whilst the fancy grey-slate plate is a nice touch, it frankly could have been better considering it was an English expat place. You also had to choose between bacon and sausage, although I realised too late that Connie ordering one too and being veggie meant I could have had both, so I ended up with a double helping of sausages. This was the disappointing student of breakfasts, a respectable B, but could have been an A*.

Mr K's attempt in Ko Phangan is...well look at it. That thing at the bottom there is a sausage, apparently. The bacon had the texture of chewing gum you find under a bus seat and the beans appeared to have been overdone by about half an hour and a few thousand kilowatts. All in all a sorry affair from an institution whose chicken schnitzel sandwiches I greatly admired.

The Holiday Breakfast, served up by Coral Bay on the north side of Ko Phangan, believe it or not, is the most expensive breakfast of all these breakfasts. Your eyes will have immediately been drawn to the salad on the right hand side of the plate, which is fair enough. Lettuce, cucumber and onion are not traditional accompaniments to the cooked breakfast, they're not even cooked. But bring your eyes over the right hand side of the plate, and take a glimpse at what are, I kid not, cheese toasties. Cheese. Toasties. Pretty good cheese toasties at that, but nevertheless a good 2/3rds of that plate is filled with things that have no place there, That is what the BNP think a Full English will look like in 10 years time.

And with that, my ode to gluttony concludes. As does my research into this important field. Ultimately, this enterprise cannot be sustained by either my wallet nor my waistline.

Full Moon; or, on the benefits of napping

Good day

You'll be pleased to hear it's raining in paradise. The heavens have opened up in a bid to wash away the sins of Full Moon. Though all anyone seems to want to do today is veg out with food and episodes of Friends that are on all the screens.

Full Moon Party was good fun. Not nearly the night of decadent debauchery that we expected, actually seemed pretty good natured although we did hear a couple of horror stories. I don't know about you but I find that early drinking tends to lead to early sleeping, particularly when the island's drink of choice is buckets filled with rice whisky, super-concentrated Red Bull and coke. So between 7 and 10, whilst others hurtled themselves towards premature drunkness, Connie and I were in blissful slumber. We then went out to the reggae bar near us (there's loads all over Thailand but this one is definitely the best so far), before heading to the bar previously mentioned that's been opened up by the English guy. Had beers and some delicious Pad Thai, then hit the beach at about 3, by which point I assume most of the proper wastes had crashed, there were certainly enough people adorning the sand. Went to the drum and bass bar, which played surprisingly decent stuff, then wandered about a bit later. Slid down a slide, caught a view of the action from a bar high up on the rocks, and took a selection of photos with unwilling snoozers. Connie crashed around half 6 whilst I opted to go and find the afterparty. Realising I didn't actually know where it was meant to be, I settled to bring the night to a close with a delightful chicken sandwich from Mr K, who as far as I can tell seems to be the head of some kind of fried chicken cartel.

So, if you want to go to Full Moon Party, have a good time and remember doing so, try pre-napping rather than pre-drinking, stick to delicious beer rather than buckets, and in the name of all that is holy don't turn up asleep on some stranger's blog.

At the Koh Pacabana

Hello all

Me and Connie are now in the Gulf of Thailand on the notorious Koh Phangan. Enjoying it a lot, very laid back and although it's swarming with Western tourists, I don't really see it as any more than in bits of the Andaman Coast. At least here it's pretty up front about what it's about. Where we're staying is great, lots of cool people and a pig called Diamond, and spent last night at the 'grand' opening of a bar which has been set up by an English guy from our resort and his Thai girlfriend. It was pretty bare, they don't have a bin or a bottle opener and we had to help them take their fridge off the truck when it was delivered! However, they only decided to open a bar a week ago and they had to completely gut and refit the place entirely, so the fact they've got anything at all is impressive. Most refreshing is that the guy is cool for you to play whatever over the speakers off his ipod so you can actually listen to decent stuff instead of trance remixes of chart hits. Full Moon is tomorrow so it's getting busy, looking forward to seeing what it's really like after hearing so much.

Between now and previous post we've taken a bizarre bus ride from Hat Yai to Koh Samui, where the bus was fully booked so we were given plastic stools so we could sit in the aisle (make your own aisle seat joke). Then a very early morning ferry over to the island, which turned out to be going to a minor port which is hardly used, so we had to make our way round the island, not the simplest task when Samui taxi drivers have decided to just make up insane price for a lift, which don't even seem to be consistent with each other. Across the island? 600 baht. Down the road? 500 baht. Maybe they're just afraid of small change.

Samui itself wasn't all that. It's more of a holiday destination and expat settlement than a backpacker place, and consequently a bit more expensive and with little to do. We went for a wander to find a place called Elephant & Castle which was reportedly a matching replica of the same pub in London, but it had closed down very recently.

Been in Phangan since Monday now, will probably leave where we are Saturday, either to Koh Tao or to another bit of Phangan which isn't as built up. Then it'll be off to Bangkok to fly to Cambodia. That certainly flew by.

Well Connie's paying up for her computer now so I can't be bothered to go through and edit/check/make this interesting. Chao.

Tim writes his first thing

Hello

As some people might possibly be interested in what I'm up to, and as the molskin notebook I paid 15.99 for at Heathrow has yet to be filled with any of the groundbreaking novels, plays and religious texts I had planned for it, I figured I'd create a little online outlet to write some stuff in. This goes in direct contradiction to what I said to all those who asked me if I'd write a blog. Apologies to you all.

Between Ben writing about being in Oz and Connie writing about the exact same trip I'm on, there's a fair few blogs. I'll try to keep mine nice and asinine so it doesn't demand too much of your time (nb. the blog will not generally rhyme).

This will likely be the longest post, and one of the most boring, as I'll try to speedily catch up on what's happened so far. Much of this stuff will have probably been covered by Connie.

Left London on the 18th. Took off with Kuwaiti Airlines around an hour and half late (standard fare from them according to online reviews) for a not-too-horrendous 6 hours. Stopped off in Kuwaiti airport, which consists of an Italian restaurant, a burger place (both these two were actually the same restaurant with different colour schemes) and a Debenhams which we couldn't get to as it was in the departure lounge. We opted for pasta and enjoyed what we thought was a very tasty meal for the price. Of course, we didn't have a clue what a Kuwaiti dinar was worth, so we actually paid 27 quid for two plates of pasta and two waters. Blissfully unaware of this, we went to our gate, where you go through security once again as you board. Efficient. Then on to Bangkok.

Bangkok - if you've nothing nice to say, say nothing. Except that it wasn't too flooded when we were there. Unless wading through the streets counts as too flooded to you.

Ko Phi Phi - the legendary paradise island. Mixed feelings about it really, it would be petty to pretend it isn't beautiful, but at the same time it's so built up and busy that you can't really enjoy it as much as you'd like. Idyllic beauty and 'Irish' bars that play trance remixes of chart hits aren't really perfect matches. We did enjoy it though and it required a certain amount of willpower to actually leave.

Ko Lanta - the complete opposite. Our hotel had only reopened for high season the day before we arrived and the whole place was dead. In a nice way though. We found a restaurant that served me two of the best meals I've had here so far, and both times we were the only ones in there. Almost wanted to go to the road and try to drum up some business for them. Beautiful beach on Ko Lanta but weather was temperemental and the wind in particular could be pretty fierce.

Railay - Mmm...that's more like it. Railay West beach is as beautiful as anywhere we saw on Phi Phi, but quieter and with a more chilled out bar scene and better music. Although we did get angry at one place that lured us in with Sweet and Dandy by Toots & The Maytals, only to gradually worsen the music policy over the following half hour. We left at the point that 'I'm Horny' song came on. Stayed in a cool little bungalow that was up in the jungle, and their onsite restaurant seemed fond of giving us free food (popcorn, samosas, donuts, mints...)

We are now in Hat Yai, which is a pretty sleepy southern city. Not very backpackery, more older white guys who may or may not be their for the 'ancient massage' advertised in a lot of windows. If the display is anything to go by, the ancient method involves picking your masseur before you enter from a gallery of photographs. Probably heading up to Ko Samui this evening, will work our way round the Gulf Islands before heading back to Bangkok to fly to Cambodia on the 17th. Feels like we're rushing through a lot of Thailand but not sure we're missing anything we desparately want to do, plus we do the north when we come back in February. As the south is so heavily geared towards beaches I'm looking forward to getting onto a more cultural vibe.

That's enough for now. Despite the fact that the flight paragraph is one of the longest I am actually having a great time. Will hopefully keep this up. Byeee.